In order to start exercising the writing muscle a bit, I asked my Facebook friends for suggestions for top-5 lists. You know, prompts to get the brain going. The seventh one is from my friend Leslie (who I’ve known since grade school), who suggested…
Top Five Funniest Quotes of This Year:
(please keep in mind that they aren’t going to read as funny as they were, but the shows mentioned seem to make me laugh out loud even if I’m by myself, so here’s the list)
1. “You go to see Springsteen and the whole night it’s like ‘The ‘workin’ man, the workin’ man,’ but, meanwhile, he’s not givin’ away those seats, you still have to pay to see Bruce Springsteen. And, that workin’ man thing is kinda phony because first of all, because, Bruce, if you really care about the workin’ man, you aren’t gonna do a 4.5 hour concert on a Tuesday night. The workin’ man’s gotta get up the next day.” — Colin Quinn, in the one-man stand up show Unconstitutional. One of the smartest & funny shows of the year.
2. “These kids, they don’t even vote anymore, Colin! All they care about is “Can I eat my flax seeds on my hoverboard? Pffft. I’m sorry. Pffft. Is this Apple watch gender neutral? HER NAME IS BRUCE!!!! (singing) THIS IS HOW WE DO I-I-IT!!!…”
Colin: What is it, specifically, that you like about Donald Trump?
“I don’t just like him, Colin. I love him. He’s gonna make America grapes again.”-Bobby Moynihan, as Drunk Uncle, on Saturday Night Live.
3. “Speak a little truth and people lose dey minds.” — O’Shea Jackson Jr., as Ice Cube, in Straight Outta Compton. Context is everything, and in that scene, at that moment, it was laugh out loud funny…as well as deeply provocative.
4. “Look at this guy. Friggin’ dip. How does it feel to be yesterday’s news, huh? And I’m the hot topic. “This just in: Phil’s worse than Tandy. Now over to the weather. Grey skies for that dong. Clear skies in Tandyville. Back to you, Bob. Thanks, Tabitha. In local news, no one cares what’s in your friggin’ house, ya jagweed.” What’s that in your house, ya friggin’ jagweed?”– Will Forte, as Phil/Tandy, in Last Man on Earth, the most consistently funny show on network TV, IMHO.
5. “I scored on LeBron James. I’m never playing basketball again. (walks out of the gym) (returns six second later and imitates LeBron’s pre-game ritual of throwing chalk) WHOOOO!”–Bill Heder, as Aaron, in Trainwreck