In order to start exercising the writing muscle a bit, I asked my Facebook friends for suggestions for top-5 lists.  You know, prompts to get the brain going.  The fifth one is from my friend Daniel, who suggested…

Top Five One-Hit Wonders That Shouldn’t Have Been.

(note: I read the sentence to mean one-hit wonders that should not have been hits, not one-hit wonders that should’ve had MORE hits. Those are two entirely different questions)

(also, I tried to span a few different decades as well as pick songs most folks would’ve at least heard of–this necessitates them being at least catchy enough to remember…in other words, people must’ve liked them)

  1. “Bang A Gong (Get It On)” by T-Rex.

Go ahead, Baby Boomers, tell me this is worthwhile songwriting:

“Well you’re built like a car
You’ve got a hub cap diamond star halo
You’re built like a car, oh yeah
Well you’re an untamed youth
That’s the truth with your cloak full of eagles
You’re dirty sweet and you’re my girl”

2.     “Cars” by Gary Numan

“Here in my car
I can only receive
I can listen to you
It keeps me stable for days
In cars”

Seriously?

3.  “Rump Shaker” by Wreckx-N-Effect

Somebody wrote and sang these words:

‘”Flip tail, so let me see you shake it up like dice
The way you shake your rump is turnin’ mighty men to mice”

They also rhymed “poppa” with “don’t stoppa.”

Not to mention they repeat a stupid chorus 16 times.

4.  “Who Let The Dogs Out” by Baha Men.

I can’t imagine that needs any explanation at all.

5. “Don’t Drop That Thun Thun” by The Finatticz

Not only do they sing the title 56 times, you get this kind of stellar writing:

“Okay is the rula
Night man cooka
Keep me a rooka
Pop me a pupa
The Heat is where I grew up
So It’s what I threw up”