A Day Of Middle Age Crisis
I woke up this morning and went through the morning routine: Opening the door so Lloyd could enjoy his morning constitutional, making my Chock Full O’ Nuts half-pot of coffee, grabbing the daily miracle that is The Dallas Morning News, read some Bible (but not as much as yesterday as I’ve got some sermons I want to listen to today), watched my family trickle in and go through their various A.M. routines.
And I’m thankful for my good life. It’s charmed.
This was followed by nearly an entire “life-flashing-before-my-eyes” kind of thing. In about three minutes I went from the first house I lived in through a whole bunch of great childhood memories through a great bunch of high school and college flashbacks to a whole new slew of great married-life memories to a slew of great memories with my children, up to and including yesterday’s family outing to go see Wall * E.
I have had every advantage in life thus far. Name any circumstance and I’ve had the benefits, man. Family. Education. Opportunity. Support. Finances. Citizenship. Friends. I’m far from an underdog/rags-to-riches kind of thing.
So, with all my genuine thankfulness and gratefulness and realization that I’ve enjoyed every station in life thus far more than I’ve been discouraged…
…I have no idea where this feeling came from:
There’s so much more I want to accomplish in my growth as a person.
There’s so much more I want to accomplish in my profession.
There’s so much more I want to build into my marriage.
There’s so much more I want to build into my children.
And these thoughts can range from decluttering a closet to writing novels to losing weight to deepening my relationship with my wife and children to getting serious about some artistic endeavor to landscaping the backyard with some sort of feng shui serenity to running a marathon to…
…it’s all devolving into static and white noise because there’s an awful lot of it.
I have no idea where this comes from or where it’ll go.
But I feel like I need to be wearing some sort of superhero cape and helmet today, man.