Do You Know Where My Secret Freckle Is?

There’s an obscure Saturday Night Live skit starring Jon Lovitz that slays me every time. The bit is simple: Famous models, comedians, actors, etc., all come into frame and claim that they were once a “nobody” until they got to know Jon, and now they’re celebrities! Jon would then look into the camera and ask trivial facts about himself like, “Do you know how I chipped my tooth?” “Have I always had this much hair?” “Do you know where my secret freckle is?”

After a few questions would exclaim, “GET TO KNOW ME!”

I know. There’s a reason it was obscure. But in college my friends and I would yell the tag line any time a little-known fact was discovered (maybe someone learned you were class president) and it never seemed to lose comedic effect. Well, until I just started typing it, anyway. Or maybe we should’ve picked the clues from the girls we’d later marry who rolled their eyes every single time we did it. Either way, it was hilarious to me and my idiot friends at that life-station.

Oddly, I hadn’t thought about that skit until I entered the job market for the first time in 17 years. Most of you know the drill: Hit the web-sites. File the jobs that interest you in the specific folder. Polish the resume. Tailor it to specific jobs. Write the cover letter. Add the link to the video of you teaching. Maybe the family photo if asked for. Hit send. Granted, it’s a bit different than it was nearly two decades ago–largely because of the influence of the Internet, but the main elements of a job search are timeless…

…even when looking for a ministry position.

And it’s that very influence of the Internet that has some extremely negative consequences for churches looking to make hires. So, consider this an open letter to any church looking to make a hire. Just some friendly advice from someone on the other side of your search committee, okay?

First of word for all of us: send a reply e-mail letting us know that you’ve received the cover letter/resume and that you’ll be getting back to us. It can be a form letter and even cut-pasted a million times, but we’ve all had e-mails that were accidentally sent to a spam file or lost in cyberspace somewhere (and yes, snail mail had the same problems), right? It’s puts us job-seekers in a difficult spot when you’ve stated “absolutely no phone contact” on your listing and if we send an e-mail asking if you got ours, well, it could wind up in spam files, too, no? So, a bit of easy communication by way of response is helpful to those of us on our end. If you can, let us know your timetable, too…a little sentence about your resume deadline and when we could expect to hear a thumbs-up or thumbs-down would be nice to know.

You’d be stunned at how few churches extend this (what I thought was) most common courtesy. Just because you love Jesus doesn’t let you off the hook on this one.

And now a few insights specific to my situation:

First of all, work on the understanding that the video/audio links you’re being sent are everyone’s “A” sermons/teachings. Nobody is going to send you the “off week” they had when the lesson didn’t quite come together…so maybe asking for that really only results in making your choice more difficult, no? You’ll be listening to everyone’s best…and the limits of audio/video remove the “vibe” from the experience. It’s the same thing as watching a band’s concert on video and being at the arena. I know guys that made their DVD teaching in front of empty seats and edited out the flaws. So, what I’m saying is that you might be wasting a bit of time getting all that info in the initial contact. Wait until later in the process, and, if you can, bring us out to teach in front of one of your groups. And it’s hard for me to imagine that you’re getting 200 applicants and you’re listening to all 30-45 minutes of our talks. So, is listening to our introduction and wrap-up really all that helpful?

Second, along those lines, you might want to try to read between the lines of every resume you get. They’re all airbrushed like a model in a magazine. We all put in the really huge mission trip and leave out that moment we lost our cool, barked at parent and they left the church because of your momentary insensitivity (despite doing all we could to ask forgiveness)…even when that happened at the same event. Look for patterns…like if someone leaves a church every three years for a bigger/better ministry. What makes you think they won’t leave you for the next bigger/better ministry in three years? You need to be critical of the data you’ve been given.

What I mean is this: In every one of those glowing bullet-points, there is a negative attached to it. For the amount of money that mission trip cost, there was a behind-the-scenes tense discussion about where those funds came from. For all the students in attendance at the retreat there were some who didn’t go because they felt excluded. For all the creative initiative that one program contained, there were four significant failures the preceded it. Try to remember that when you’re glancing at the stuff we bullet-pointed.

Third, look holistically when you shift from the resume to the blogs and Facebook stuff. Now, I also didn’t “scrub” my blog or social media because I want you to know what you’re getting into. I’m authentic up-front because I don’t want you to feel like you were a “bait-and-switch” victim two months into the process. But others aren’t. They deleted the controversial blog posts and re-made their Facebook pages trying to put their best foot forward. But you might want to connect the dots between the resume and the social media. I mean, yes. I have long-hair and tattoos. I’m not naive by any stretch. However, before you File 13 the resume you might want to note that 24 years of youth ministry and 15 years at one church might make a significantly stronger statement than long-hair and tattoos, no?

Yes. I have blogs where I am critical of the Church or Christians. But over 3,000 entries I can assure you I also have very glowing ones about the church, too. I’ve covered a lot of ground about ministry and if you look at one entry and make a judgement, well, I’d suggest there’s a context. And, especially to the church that told me I was going to be a finalist until some moms looked at my Facebook page and noted the long-hair, well, um…you never asked me about them. It isn’t like I was sick and missed seminary the day they covered those verses in Corinthians. I’d be happy to tell you about my donation to help cancer patients every two years or the times of grief each one of my tattoos signify. I didn’t hide them (and I could’ve). I understand that in some church cultures that isn’t going to fly and I’m cool with that…but don’t spend a month telling me what a grace-oriented church you are and then fail to even ASK me about that stuff…just balance all that information you’re getting into a forest of data rather than a series of trees.

Finally, don’t fall into the trap of “specialization.” Make sure you leave room for growth or shifts in ministry focus. For example, if you’re looking for a small groups pastor and you see my resume that highlights all my small group experience but say, “Well, that was small groups in student ministry, not the whole church.” Small groups are small groups, and wouldn’t you think 24 years of running them would equal “3 years of small group experience in a large church?” If I’m applying, assume I’m truly interested in that job…not “a” job. It might be time for a change and I’m exploring that a bit, so try not to pigeon-hole the candidates, okay?

And don’t get me started on all the creative churches and ministries that were started by “former” student pastors. We might be the most natural folks to transition into pastoral roles because we spent a lot of time with the younger generations and their parents and have a very intuitive feel for serving them and meeting their needs. So, try to be open to movement outside the area of expertise. Most of the skills transfer.

I can hear some of you now.

“Stop whining. It’s a tough job market.” I’m not whining at all. In fact, I’ve been HIGHLY selective in who I’ve sent resumes to…and in my limited time doing this, I’m not discouraged. I simply see patterns that I think this might help churches as they look at candidates. I’m really not hurt if they don’t pick me, but if they took note of what I listed here, the search would go more smoothly on both sides no matter who the candidate is. Frankly, I feel pretty competitive no matter how tough the market appears to be. I can hold my own, folks.

“It paints a pretty picture, but it’s reality, so you might have to deal with it.” Since when did a living organism with the highest standards of the Church in play have to settle for the status quo? I believe in the Church and love it, and want the best/highest for it. Why not take the lead and let “reality” learn from us? Sorry. My romantic idealism gets the best of me and often leads to a scorching case of Weltschmerz, but so be it.

“You need to learn to play the business game.” Ministry is not a business. Some of the principles apply, sure. But the bottom line is that you’re looking for a family member, not filling a job slot. If it were only about money or jobs then I’d agree…but ministry life is family life. You’re looking for someone to adopt and wouldn’t that require looking in a way businesses don’t need or want to? Just because a search is run by business folks one way, well, shouldn’t a church be more creative and innovative? That’s why I don’t scrub my blog or cover the tats. What you see is what you get to the degree I can communicate via on a web site.

So, help a brother out, those of you looking to hire a pastor!

Try to take the time to GET TO KNOW ME even with the limitations of the electronic age…

…even if I choose NOT to let you know where my secret freckle is!

Monday Morning Mind Vitamin

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Mind Vitamins

Here’s another from Mark Scandrette in his book Practicing the Way of Jesus: Life Together in the Kingdom of Love:

I long to see the church of Jesus Christ manifesting the love that we were made to give and receive. I dream of a time when groups in every community became centers that practice and teach the Way, training people to do everything that Jesus did and taught. I’m convinced that modest, incremental changes to ‘normal’ Christianity or ‘church as usual’ will not get us where we need to go.

As leaders, dreamers and visionaries we need to lead not just by what we say, but by how we subversively live out the alternatives. Many in our generation have been free to critique what is, but few of us have had the courage to enact changes we can imagine. Some of us need to step out and humbly risk more radical steps of obedience. As Wendall Berry memorably said, ‘If change is to come…it will have to come from the margins…It was the desert, not the Temple, that gave us the prophets.’ What seems dangerous, heretical or impossible today might not seem so tomorrow.

So much of our lives is designed around minimizing risks, avoiding pain and managing chaos and uncertainties that are inherent to the human condition. We are tempted to look to governments, corporations or social structures (including religion) to give us the certainty and security we crave. Yet the One in who we live warns us that it is foolish to live cautiously (Matthew 25:14-30) and calls us away from the safety and conventions of our kingdoms into the mystery and adventure of the kingdom of love. Those who inherit this kingdom do so with reckless abandon, not looking back, and betting it all on the pearl of great price, to risk being fully alive.

So, the questions I’d like to ask you are:
1) Do you agree or disagree that “modest, incremental changes” to “church as usual” will not get us where we need to go? Why or why not?
2) If the “fringes” or “margins” of our Tribe initiate change, what do you think the “status quo’s” reaction be? What could be done to keep splits or disunity to a minimum from both the fringe and the current leaders?
3) Why do you think we ideally love the idea of a life that doesn’t “minimize risks, avoid pain, and manages chaos/uncertainty” but rarely step our a be “fully alive?” What could you do do personally step out a little more?

Welp, that should get your thinking cap working for this Monday morning! I’ll just be over here having my coffee while I wait to hear your thought, patrons!

Today’s Mind Vitamin

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Mind Vitamins

Coming from Mark Scandrette in his book Practicing the Way of Jesus: Life Together in the Kingdom of Love

The boundaries for our understanding of what it means to seek the kingdom of God ‘on earth as it is in heaven’ are radically and necessarily expanding. This shift is not isolated to younger people. People of all ages and cultural backgrounds are sensing a pull toward a spirituality that is more holistic, integrative and socially engaged. In recent years increasing numbers of people have mentally ‘checked out’ or physically left the Christian groups they have been part of because they have felt that these contexts are not actually helping them believe, belong or live better. While it may be tempting or convenient to blame church leaders or structures for this, I believe this widespread dissatisfaction is a symptom of the larger challenges we face as a society. Advances in technology, the explosion of information and increasing mobility have created a sense of disequilibrium and social fragmentation. The church, along with every other social institution, is grappling with how to thrive in a rapidly changing, always connected mobile and global culture.

Agree or disagree, patrons, and why or why not?

*pours cup of coffee and waits for stimulating discussion…

Red Oceans, Blue Oceans and A Box of Crayons

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Hirsh, Missional

I love the Church.

I…

…LOVE…

…the Church.

I guess sometimes the nature of my blog entries causes people to ask me why I don’t even LIKE the Church. I kind of understand that. But, as I’ve said before, the spiritual life doesn’t have to be POLITE. I mean, look at the prophets in the Old Testament, fuh cryin’ out loud. Paul opposed Peter TO HIS FACE. Even Jesus flipped over the tables in the Temple not once, but TWICE (making a whip out of a curtain on one of those junkets). And since when did asking honest questions for people to wrestle with, based on my observations, become even the remotely equivalent of any of those things? The very nature of the questions is to make people who ordinarily wouldn’t be aware of the state of things to become aware of the state of things.

I mean, the movie Moneyball and the book Good To Great were about organizations that needed to think beyond their current way of doing business to become what they wanted to be. The book is geared toward corporations who turned things around, and the movie is about a baseball team who couldn’t spend as much as the ones in larger cities finding a way to compete with them. In both cases, they had to assess where they were and then figure out a way to excel given their realities. In the baseball movie, they decided to get players who scored runs (isn’t that the object?) rather than high batting averages or home run hitters.

And, thankfully, I’m not a lone voice in the wilderness when I talk about the Church in decline. The numbers are in and aren’t even in dispute. Yes, even in the Bible-belt here in Texas. Sure, there are lots of large megachurches but those numbers are smaller than they were and dropping. Slowly, to be sure. But it’s noticeable.

So, it’s nice to read a book like On the Verge: A Journey Into the Apostolic Future of the Church (Exponential Series) by Alan Hirsch and Dave Ferguson who not only see the problem, but see the Church as the solution as well. Earlier movements (think Emergent) took a more “I’ll take my ball and go home” approach which always caused me trouble even if I was drawn to some of their methods.

Well, Hirsch (An Australian who feels called to serve the North American church get mobilized to work towards solutions) and Ferguson (a megachurch pastor in Chicago who successfully redesigned his church to get on mission) have put into words what I’ve been trying to say. It’s nice when it’s coming from two others who love the Church, too.

They use a business term, “RED OCEANS,” to describe the “known market space.” Apparently, it’s a term industries use to talk about the entire potential customer base. So, for example, if you’re Kimberly-Clarke and you’re selling toilet paper or paper towels, what percentage of America (or the world) is possibly going to buy your product? That’s the “red ocean” that the sharks are going to get into and fight for…so it’s all the other paper companies vying for the chum in the red ocean. So, let’s say that 90% of Americans need those products, and there are 100 companies who make those products, then they’re all fighting each other to get that business.

The other term, “BLUE OCEANS,” is the unknown market space, hence no competition. Lots of room for growth and innovation and creativity because it hasn’t even really been explored yet. It’s a potential market.

So, in church terms, it goes something like this (based on Bible-belt estimates): There’s roughly 40% of the population that are the types of folks who will live in a community and be open to finding a church. This isn’t the attendance, mind you, just that 40% represents the total RED OCEAN that are even open to it. Generally, it’s assumed that 25%-50% of that RED OCEAN will act on that latent desire. So, you have all these churches offering programs and ministries and revamping worship services and all that in an effort to attract from this base. Practical numbers: My town has roughly 70,000 people. That means between 14K and 28K are open to going to church. My guess is that weekly attendance is closer to 17K-20K.

That means there’s a BLUE OCEAN out there between 42K and 56K for the Church to be innovative and creative with our mission. But the status quo isn’t going to reach those people. Most, if not all, the churches in my area are very, very good at serving the RED OCEAN scenario. And they’re very, very good at resources and training and all that. Hirsch and Ferguson put it this way:

This is exactly the issue we face. We are all competing in the red waters of the 40% while the 60% remains largely untouched. It’s time for some value innovation. Christian churches with a strong sense of missionary calling–while maintaining best practices in what they do–will also venture out to innovate new forms of church in the vast uncharted territories of the unchurched populations of our day. To do less is to fail in our missionary calling.

And, this is where the fun part comes in.

See, the authors use the example of Einstein talking about imagination being more important than information.

In my terms, we grow out of our Sesame Street/Muppets and crayons and into desks, meetings and spreadsheets. It’s more fun to dream of exploring the BLUE OCEANS. Even the authors highlight that, too:

To overcome the fact that most contemporary churches focus on the same diminishing 40% of the population (and therefore against each other for the same slice), we must have more than one arrow in our ecclesial quiver. The way to have a really good idea is to have many ideas, and the answer to the diversity of Western culture is diversity of church expression. One size will not fit all anymore. If our only answer to the strategic challenge we face is another tweak of the same institutional paradigm that got us here, then we must expect to be (and will be) sorely disappointed, and church attendance will continue it’s long-term trend of decline. We need a blue ocean strategy…there is no silver bullet, but there is a silver imagination.

So, today, let’s assume that our RED OCEAN is uniquely positioned to do something unique and creative and start to work on the BLUE OCEAN, okay? I mean, if you’re reading this, you’re probably entrenched in the RED OCEAN, no?

And, you’re given a box of crayons and a sheet of paper to draw and dream and create your very own “silver imagination” to explore and develop some sort of arrow in your quiver that will forge new ground into the BLUE OCEAN…

…what does it look like? If you can’t dream it, well, we can’t do it.

So, get out your crayons and draw, patrons!

Inhabit Conference, Thoughts Entry #4: The Danger of Curriculum

(Note: Wednesday’s & Thursday’s entries are taken directly from the address Tim Soerens gave during the Inhabit Conference I attended last weekend. The three main points in his address during the Leadership in New Parish Symposium on Saturday afternoon are what I’ll be thinking through)

A couple of quick stories:

Cut to a lunch table loaded with youth pastors. I had by far the most experience and was easily 10 years the elder statesman of the group. Now, this isn’t to say that I was the “best” of the bunch because there were two that I truly thought were more gifted than I was…but after years of a lot of professional turnover, these lunches had become a repeat of the earlier get-togethers. Usually the younger guys would want to get some big event on the docket. Something we could do “together to show unity among area churches.” Somehow, Third Day and Mercy Me and a local football field would help us show unity. The next question was what curriculum we were using for our middle school/high school ministry.

I always appreciated the heart behind the first discussion even if I knew enough about logistics to know it would be a lot more money than the young guys thought it would be…which usually squelched the ideas because nobody seemed to have an extra $15K lying around their budgets. It was the second question that made me crazy because I didn’t understand it.

See, I never purchased curriculum during my tenure in youth ministry. And when they’d ask me what I was using, the answer went something like this: “Well, our group is taking a look at the nature of the community in the process of spiritual growth, so we’re looking at passages in Acts & Thessalonians about the nature of the early church.” Their question: “Who published that?” Me: “Um, well, I don’t think anyone in Nashville knows my kids and context. So, I pray, study and off we go.”

Their response: “But…but…why reinvent the wheel? Shouldn’t you be spending time with kids in coffee shops or at their games? Why not just get some good stuff from Youth Specialties or Lifeway and use that time building relationships?”

Cut to a Q&A session after I’d spoken to a group of younger moms for our women’s ministry.

Question from the audience: “What books would you recommend for parenting our kids? You’ve got so many years of working with teens and I only have so much time, so which ones are the best?”

My response: “Proverbs and Psalms.”

Nice lady: “No. What books? Like ones we could get from the Christian bookstore.”

Me: “I’m being sincere when I say just spend time reading Psalms and Proverbs and you’re limited reading time will be maximized. I’m not trying to be cute or trite. Just dive in to those and you’ll develop a deeper walk and that’ll make you a better parent.”

Nice lady: “But there have to be good books, too.”

Me: “Well, in my experience, parenting books are all written from a position of success by the author. The problem is that it often makes you feel inferior. Psalms lets you deal with the ups and downs of the spiritual life and Proverbs gives you principles to guide you in good times and tough ones. I mean, nobody writes a book about what they did to provoke their kid to roll their eyes and slam the doors or that their kid got four tickets and two wrecks in their first two years of driving. All the books “work” and all the books “fail.” So my advice is to stick to God’s advice and be Spirit-led as you parent.”

And…

…one more group I won’t be asked back to speak for.

I had the discussion several times when I was leading the Christian Education department at our church. I’d ask adult ministry leaders why they’d dedicated an entire semester to (insert nationally-known Christian All-Star)’s DVD/Workbook series…to which I was told how great of a speaker he/she is and how “passionate” they were (as an aside, I’d like to remove that adjective from our lexicon as I can’t think of one more misapplied. Coffee with me if you want to discuss that).

Look. I get that they’re great. But are you trying to tell me that they know our people and our context more than someone in our ministry? And are you telling me that (nationally-known best-selling author here) knows our needs better than us? Surely we can be all Ephesians 4 and have gifted servants write something for us.

Them: “But this is already written and proven and I’ve seen it. It’s great.”

I’m not alone. In 2010, Lifeway (the only company I looked up) averaged $60 million in sales.

Sixty…

…million…

…dollars.

And that was the final point of Tim Soeren’s symposium. That we can easily fall into a trap that spiritual formation occurs through more information.

Think about it for a second. A typical church service starts with announcements, goes into a few songs (which we call worship) that we sing together, there’s a special song by a talented member of the church while we “worship through giving,” then we go into a 30-40 minute sermon that is lecture. It’s information driven while we sit in our chairs and listen. Then our Sunday School class is the same thing with tables and chairs and a “master teacher” format that runs the same length but there’s maybe some Q&A. Our mid-week studies are the same thing with the exception that we’re in a small group and we sit in a circle and have prayer requests…and then we read a book we picked up at the local Lifeway about some area we’re trying to improve our spiritual life. Maybe we attend a conference or two, like a Women of Faith thing or Promise Keepers or Teen Mania…even those are mostly larger-scale versions of our Sundays when it comes right down to it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m big on information. I love learning.

But Tim Soerens’ point was that information alone isn’t going to get the job done. The funny thing was he talked about the romance of publishing and made a joke about “half this room being published authors.” It was true. I’d read a lot of their books…and the conference was attended by a little over a hundred folks…and it was entirely possible that half of them had a book out.

His point is correct. It requires information, to be sure. That’s a part of the process. But the American church is missing the boat when it comes to having those principles embodied in the life of a person who is walking alongside you, as well as living it out in a community of folks who will encourage and, if needed, rebuke you.

And too often, we show up on our Sunday classes, hear good information and have a cup of coffee with a few friends, hit up our small group and do things similarly, and then we live out the other hours of our lives all by ourselves…

…hoping that the next sermon series, or conference, or book, or class, will spur us to a deeper, abundant life.

And they won’t. These will only come from what Soerens called a “whole life faith.” Where we live with a common mission, with a common formation of our spiritual lives, lived out in common relationships (or community). This will spur us on to faith & good works. I mean, I kept hearing at the conference that their goal was to simply encourage people to do and say the things Jesus did and said…which, when you look at it with the disciples, they had common mission, forming their spiritual lives with a common focus and living out that faith with common relationships.

So, today, for the discussion…

Who are some people that lived out their faith alongside you and how did they embody the information you were given?
What do each of the elements of Soerens’ “whole life faith” look like to you?
Can you think of a time when all three of those elements were obvious in your life and would you say that was a time of spiritual growth for you?

Have at it, patrons!

Inhabit Conference, Thoughts Entry #3: The Danger of Colonialism

(Note: Yesterday’s and tomorrow’s entries are taken directly from the address Tim Soerens gave during the Inhabit Conference I attended last weekend. The three main points in his address during the Leadership in New Parish Symposium on Saturday afternoon are what I’ll be thinking through)

Please tell me you’ve seen the “Missionary Impossible” episode of The Simpson’s.

For those that haven’t, here’s the general idea: Homer makes a $10,000 phone fund-drive pledge (which, naturally, he doesn’t have) to save a PBS station. Upon finding out he’s broke, Betty White & her cohorts chase him and he runs for sanctuary in Springfield’s church run by Reverend Lovejoy. The reverend hides him in a bag of letters to be sent via cargo plane to a church in “Microasia” and Homer becomes a missionary. This is in spite of the fact that his lack of understanding of his religion to the degree that he refers to Jesus as “Jebus.”

After dropping in on the indigenous population’s peaceful and happy lives of slow-paced, South Pacific island life…

…he introduces a casino.

This makes a mess of things. Alcohol and violence come to the formerly peaceful island. Homer decides to build a chapel to say he’s sorry. Then they ring the enormous church bell to call everyone to worship but the reverberations cause an earthquake, which releases molten lava all over the island.

All in all, it’s pretty funny. Well, if it weren’t such an example of the current view of the American church’s propensity for colonialism. This is the second “siren” warning that Tim Soerens highlighted in his Saturday symposium.

And, I’ve seen it in real life. My former church has a sister church in Haiti. We worked in partnership with a church-planting mission group over 20 years ago and I had the pleasure to visit. It was nice to see brothers and sisters in Christ where we’d developed a relationship over the last two decades…they sent members to visit our congregation and the works. All in all, it’s a positive on both sides.

But on my trip, I couldn’t help but notice the efforts of the Americans who planted the church had crept into this church in a city of 16,000 people on the extreme western tip of the southern isthmus of the nation. For example, where did these folks surrounded by jungle get electric guitars and amps? Why were they wearing suits to the main service on Sunday when there wasn’t a suit anywhere else in the town? Why were they singing American/Euro hymns? Why did they sit on pews?

Now, don’t get me wrong. These aren’t necessarily negatives but I did wonder about the Homer Simpson effect. I mean, what were the instruments they used before we showed up? Surely they had some. It’s a Caribbean nation…why were they wearing suits? What were their normal clothes, or even what would they have worn to a more formal occasion before we showed up? Could they write songs of praise in their more local style? I even inadvertently threw them for a loop as the pastor when some of our teens played some of theirs in soccer and I joined in to even up the teams. The field was soon surrounded by locals who were pointing and laughing…apparently, in their culture, men don’t run. Especially not pastors. They’d never seen a grown man run for such a long period of time. I wondered if that affected their view of what a pastor should/could be. That might not’ve been the best thing if later on, someone said that Christian men play soccer and put that pastor at odds with his culture. Granted, none of these things are really big deals and we did our best to discover their customs and rhythms. For example, we had an idea to give the church enough money to, more or less, make sure families got rice & beans through an outreach program we would provide. Their leadership suggested more of a co-op approach where we provided seeds for plants and those that used them for a garden had to replace two cups of seeds after the individual garden harvest as it fit their society better (apparently, “welfare” has a negative connotation to them, and their way would allow those that got seeds from the church a better reputation in the community).

Sure, that’s the “macro” sense of colonialism.

But we do it in small ways, too. Tim used an example of a big suburban church had an outreach event in an urban neighborhood. There were bounce houses and a large grill for hot dogs and hamburgers and kids with face painting and balloons and the whole deal. The church had the best of intentions and came back a few weeks later without all that stuff to visit those they’d built relationships with. They heard from several moms about how their kids were discontent now. They’d never had hot dogs before and now they wanted hot dogs (which she could not afford) all the time. The kids weren’t content riding bikes anymore because they wanted to go to a climbing wall or blow-up obstacle course. They wanted to paint faces and they couldn’t afford the paint. You get the idea.

The best of intentions can have downsides if we aren’t careful.

And that goes for anywhere or anytime.

See, the way we “do church” or the “spiritual life” might work well for our context. For example, a megachurch might have some negatives, but it seems to fit the rhythms of my subdivision. I mean, you can do church without power point and electric guitars with pop music, but folks are used to power point and pop music is what they listen to. Most everyone is educated formally and graduate degrees aplenty, so the lecture format for learning is one folks are used to (yes, we can debate the effectiveness, but that’s another blog). We’re used to commutes and big buildings and parking lots and dropping our kids off and specialization. So, it works.

But in other contexts, the same thing would be detrimental. Say in the inner city where you don’t have any place for a nursery since you’re in a home or maybe meeting in a community center with one room. To try to implement all those same features would be a mistake, no? We’d need to talk to them about the unique features of their community, no? So, if folks didn’t have money for breakfast, it’d be tough for them to come and pay attention so maybe we’d need to supply breakfast for them. Maybe we’d need to design a time together differently. Maybe different music. Discussion instead of lecture/power points. Different music (if we even used music at all).

You get the idea, right?

See, this plays into my “dreams” entry a little bit. I know the rhythms of my community since I’ve lived here so long and one thing I’ve noticed is that our architecture keeps us from meeting/knowing our neighbors. Our desire for structure keeps our kids from having a place to hang out. We attend churches where we zip in for (at-best) three hours a week and it takes a very long time to develop deep relationships. We’re busy folks so you can’t add much to anyone’s schedule so new programs are resisted unless concessions are made to that reality. The idea of hosting neighbors in your home hurts two ways: You gotta clean up to host, and then you can’t cocoon and decompress from the day. Which is why I think a GREAT “3rd space” is needed and would work here. But I’m not sure it’d work in other settings…nor would it even be needed.

So, for discussion today…
How have you seen colonialism in a “macro” or “micro” sense?
Do you agree that it’s a warning the Church needs to be aware of?
Finally, how do you see the nature of your “place” helping your spiritual growth? Hindering it?

Have at it, patrons!

Inhabit Conference, Thoughts Entry #2: The Danger of Consumerism

We’ve got to start thinking in new terms. Do we want new worship leaders, preachers, youth specialists and writers? Then let’s keep doing what we’re doing. We’re good at creating all-stars for the current way of doing church. But what is it that we really want? We need to find new ways to experience walking with God.”–Paul Sparks in his session “The Medium is the Message”

(Note: The next three days worth of entries are taken directly from the address Tim Soerens gave during the Inhabit Conference I attended last weekend. The three main points in his address during the Leadership in New Parish Symposium on Saturday afternoon are what I’ll be thinking through)

It’s a discussion that I’ve been having with several folks who were involved in my church during the time of explosive growth. We were having those problems all churches love to have. You know what I’m talking about: Not enough parking so we had to run shuttles from a remote lot. Expanding to three and then to four services. Septic problems because the old building wasn’t designed for 1,000 people each week. Not enough room for Sunday School classes. The youth moving to a stand-alone program on Sunday evenings and shifting our middle school program to Tuesday nights because the children’s ministry filled the building on Wednesdays.

They were fun times, man.

The obvious solution: A new building. In our case, 60,000 square feet of ministry tool with wide hallways and ample classroom space and an auditorium to seat 850. There were plans to develop the acreage to include a dedicated worship space, expand the current building to 70,000 square feet dedicated to classroom spaces, and add an outdoor family life area to make a nice park complete with amphitheater and gazebos and walking paths.

It was fun to dream. It is fun to dream.

And people did come. From all over the place. We had programs galore in all age ranges and life-stations. We kept four services but were giving considerable thought to a fifth on Saturday evenings. We became, by the strictest definition, a megachurch. Now, keep in mind that in our area, a megachurch can range over 24,000, but by definition there are over 70 megachurches in DFW.

All offering the best in women’s ministries, men’s ministries, children & youth, senior citizens, sports leagues (even one for kids where they all play by character-building guidelines), incredibly talented worship leaders and Sunday services where 10,000 could take communion at once and every single bell & whistle you can imagine.

But, like all well-intentioned goals there were some unintended consequences. For example, I had students that came to our small groups that met in homes on Wednesday nights, attended worship service (they didn’t like our music) at another place on Saturday, went to the “outreach” events at another, and youth group at still another. Adults came to our church because of a particular video series but attended faithfully in another congregation. People were driving 40 minutes to hear a particular pastor preach.

It was frustrating on several levels…but the bottom line was that I was seeing the entire approach to the spiritual life become driven by the wants & desires of the individual (or individual families). You could lose a series of families if your pastor left, or the worship style changed, or if another church added a sports league for your kids. You could commute in for your hour on Sunday and never be a part of any community at all. We saw it get personal, too. I mean, at first our student ministry staff meetings were a lot about praying for students and parents and such, then they evolved into who was doing worship and who would get the video done by Sunday and how creative we could be with room design.

In short, we built it, they came.

And I’m not sure we were any better at discipling people. In fact, we may have lost a step or two in the transaction because we were attracting people who were attracted to cool programs and not necessarily those who were serious about growing in Christ. And, like my friend Charlie said, “The method you use to attract people will be the method you have to use to keep people.” We became about having to be better and excellent at what we were doing: running programs. We were, too.

So, cut to these conversations I’ve been having with friends/colleagues who were all involved in our church at that time. I posted the reality that there wasn’t much serious discussion (if any, although a few said there were some, but I wasn’t privy to them) about doing the exact opposite. Maybe selling the building we owned or using it for training purposes and focusing on small group or even neighborhood-type ministry (much like the Parish Collective is doing now).

When I mentioned that, one of the best responses I got was, “Brent, no one was really having those kinds of conversations back then. There wasn’t all the data we have today about the failures of the megachurch model regarding discipleship or the amount of publishing that’s out there highlighting the shortcomings. You were all having honest discussions in the times you lived them out.” Fair enough.

But now, see, I’m on a journey of deconstruction of all this. I’m not on the sidelines of this. I’ve lived it first-hand. I’ve seen the upsides (and there are some, to be sure) and I’ve experienced the realities of this model.

I have serious stripes in evangelical circles, man. I was plugged in to a solid Bible church growing up in Alabama and, for whatever reason, those in leadership were proactive in spending time with me…and lovingly walked alongside me to help me make further decisions to grow spiritually during my undergrad years. I worked professionally for Youth for Christ for years. I got a degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. I worked for a growing church in the Dallas area for 15 years…in a specialty where the average tenure is somewhere between 18 months to 3 years.

So, when Tim spoke, he was sharing with the attendees the warning signs he is seeing. I lived them.

The first warning was regarding consumerism and the dangers of where that would lead to not only churches, but to individuals in those systems.

And today, here at The Diner, I’d love to hear your thoughts on:
1) The positive experiences you’ve had if you’ve been in or are currently involved in a larger church with many programs.
2) Some ways you’ve seen the consumer mentality played out where you live.
3) Some ways you see the church at-large can be more effective at truly discipling people. What that would look like, what the needs are, etc.

So, have at it, patrons!

Inhabit Conference, Thoughts Entry #1: Dreaming Again

Most of you know that I’ve been angsty about the effectiveness of the local church when it comes to helping people do and say the things that Jesus did and said. I mean, I’ve trafficked in the highest levels of evangelicalism since my earliest days of following Jesus…everything from attending a “solid” Bible church in my days as a student, having fellow travelers take me under their wings in college, excellent years in ministry with Youth for Christ, knowledgeable & capable professors at Dallas Theological Seminary, and 15 years serving in one local congregation in the edges of the Bible Belt.

To be sure, I’ve seen some wins. I cannot deny that

But, frankly, I’ve seen more ties (at best) and losses (at worst), much of both caused by the “systems” of evangelicalism. I’m passionate about being proactive in trying to correct those weaknesses in how we do business…especially as it relates to the future of how we do business. I’d say that the last half of my life will be dedicated to that very thing, especially as it relates to preparing the next generation for the handoff of leadership & vision we’ll give them.

Someone who knows my passion well recommended that I attend the Inhabit Conference last weekend in Seattle. It’s put on by The Parish Collective, which is an organization dedicated to getting people who are doing ministry through local neighborhoods together to pool resources and experiences. They partnered with The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology to make the weekend happen. Now, you should know that these are the types of groups that will actually schedule a pub-crawl as part of the conference. Awesome.

Now, it isn’t my intent to use The Diner to bore you with details of each speaker/topic or breakout seminars or whatever…there was simply way too much by way of information/insight to process before I could even begin, anyway. What I’d like to do is use the major themes of the conference to get discussion going.

Suffice to say that when these folks started the entire conference by doing an exercise to “welcome home” those of us on the fringes because we’re questioning convention & practice of the North American Church, well, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt truly “at home” among my Tribe and it meant so much to me to (almost instantly) feel I’d found my people.

At any rate, as Mark Scandrette, one of the breakout session leaders, noted, there is a gap between what many evangelicals dream about personally and for their ministries and their “doing” of these things. Granted, this is an old theme…much like we all know that to lose weight we need to improve our diets and exercise more but we never get around to it. Or we’ll start next week, next month, when things slow down. So we wind up sitting in discontent between where we are and where we want to be.

Since I’m being honest here, that’s where much of my angst lies.

Yep.

I have a dream for ministry.

No. It doesn’t look like the suburban Bible-Belt congregation. Yes. I know that model “worked” for many…at least on the surface. But since I’m being honest, I think that wave has crested and we’re on the downside of it. Yes. I know that many of my Texan friends will dispute this and point to all the big buildings with fannies in seats each Sunday and blah blah blah. As I’ve mentioned before in this space, the studies are in: Fannies in seats doesn’t mean effective discipleship is taking place. As I’ve also mentioned in this space, the “commuter” church (as the folks at this conference often referred to megachurches) has some inherent flaws in the system. I won’t bore you with more regurgitations of the same. You should know I’m not alone in this line of thinking as current publishing in Christian circles is more than happy to sell books on it…and is doing so.

Much of this comes from the individualistic and information-driven (which I’ll discuss in the next three days, so plan on a busy week here at The Diner) approach to spirituality that most of our discipleship methods lead to. You know, you attend a class in a lecture format on Sunday, or sit in an auditorium and listen to a charismatic speaker after hearing a hip & with-it worship leader, and maybe grab your Bible and your devotional and your journal and snuggle up with a latte at Starbucks two or three days a week. Then you call that “quiet time” your “worship.” As one the speakers put it, “Have you noticed that we can ‘worship’ Jesus without ever really worshipping Jesus?”

Anyway, back to my dream…which certainly employs much of what I gleaned from my experiences in student ministry and puts it in a blender with the realities of the suburban place I’ve been stationed.

See, I put the dream on the back-burner inadvertently. I started focusing on all the reasons it didn’t seem doable. The start-up cash I’d need. The locations that all have drawbacks. The start-up of something foreign in the Bible Belt and the resistance that will come…much of it’ll be harsh instead of constructive. The much more romantic allure of moving downtown and working with the young & urban populace. I’d stopped dreaming. My fault.

Here’s the dream I let die (which, as an aside, I believe can work in/through/with the right local church as the principles could apply though a variety of already happening ministries where all you have to do is add a little imagination…so, I’m not ruling out working for a church at all. The right church with the right mindset could implement such an environment in existing systems): A “Third Space” kind of place that wasn’t given to the Wednesday/Sunday conventions of our culture for the spiritual life. A place where you could be excited to leave your privacy-fenced cocoon and drop-in, as you are, where you are. A place where you could know others and be known by others. A place where you could grab margaritas and discuss the problems of raising kids in a pressure-cooker or deep theology. A place where you could smoke cigars & drink scotch and throw darts (or, skeeball or horseshoes or whatever else we had room for). A place where all generations could roll in and feel at home. The music would be good but low enough to allow for talking more than anything else. Where the only TV would be behind curtains that would open only for “planned events” like a ballgame or The Bachelor finale or whatever else would foster community rather than provide white noise & visual pollution. A place where the kids would be welcome and grandfathers could teach dominoes without having to spend $4 for a latte and having enough room for a table of 20 or nooks for two. A place where live music happened in our burgh. A place that would be upbeat & you could just drop in whenever you felt like it and expect to see someone you know (even if it wasn’t prearranged) and feel like you were “31 miles from Dallas, 40 miles from Ft. Worth and a million miles from Alone & Busy.” A place where you could live out your spiritual life in true community with all that entails.

Sounds beautiful, no?

Why did I let this die under the weight of practicality? Why had I stopped praying about it? I have no idea.

And this conference helped me to dream again.

So, today, here at The Diner (which, 8 years ago I named this blog that very thing, so maybe seeds of this type of community have always been with me)…

I know I took a heady and circuitous route to get to a simple question, but that’s my biggest take-away.

…what is YOUR dream right now?

P.S. Tomorrow we’ll dive into some more provocative insights from the conference.

Why I Write

Tags

Personal Journey

I’ve been bouncing the idea of writing several books around, and I chatted with someone who asked me a question no one has ever really asked me before: “Why do you write anything at all?” I’d never really thought about that all that much…it just seemed like something I had to do. I’ve read enough “how to write” books by other authors that I could answer the question with some blend of plagiarism and semantics but I’d never answered the question myself. So, today, here are my initial thoughts on the question…

I am not what you see. Not by a long shot.

I grew up in the Deep South, the real South, the Heart-of-Dixie South. One where appearances matter a great deal and social skills are paramount. You know the jokes about how that phrase, “Bless her heart” means something catty. That South. I’ve learned from tutors how to shake hands firmly and look someone in the eye. I’ve been drilled in “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am” to the point that I still do it today and I’m 46 years old. I know how to make sweet tea that could double as pancake syrup in a pinch and could serve it to Marilyn Manson with a smile. I think the phrase for that is “social grace.”

And I guess “social grace” helps us get along and overall, I’m glad they exist and that I’m aware of them. But I don’t buy that there is deep truth in them anymore than I buy into the belief that New Yorkers are “rude.” They aren’t. They’re “frank.” In other words, they aren’t trying to be mean or insult you. That isn’t their heart attitude. The waiter’s simply trying to get you out of the restaurant because there is a line outside and he needs the table to clear out a little faster than another cup of mud will last. It’s two sides of the same coin, really.

What I mean is this: The insides and the outsides don’t match up.

See, I have lived in the upper echelons of evangelicalism since I was 16 years old. At first, I didn’t know the “codes.” See, I was drawn to Jesus at that station in life. Fascinated by Him would be a better description. The Jesus that was in the Bible was a LOT different than the Jesus of Deep South social graces. He was a New Yorker in a china shop. He pushed all the “right” people into a rage and blessed all the “wrong” people. He had little regard for the status quo. He wanted people to metamorphosize and the first step of that was poking and prodding everything you thought you knew. The entire deal of the Sermon on the Mount, his initial manifesto, wasn’t the polite little sermon we’ve milquetoasted into anemia. It was highly inflammatory and a gauntlet to the religious elite. He blessed all the wrong people. He told a nation that they were dark and tasteless where they were supposed to be light and flavorful. He went way past behavior management and into the hearer’s hearts.

It was stunning.
I loved it.
I couldn’t get enough of it.

And then I was given the codes of evangelical behavioral management. I didn’t hear as much about the stunning Jesus I couldn’t get enough of. But I heard a lot about not having Ozzy blaring with the windows down and not getting an earring and wondering how close I could get to sin without crossing some imaginary line of how far I could go with my girlfriend. Jesus got lost in the shuffle…even if the other stuff was by well-intentioned folks who loved and cared about me.

Which is why I started journaling.

I couldn’t reconcile what was going on in my heart with the social graces and evangelical codes. So, from where I sat, my mom could pay a therapist or I could buy a $0.99 composition notebook that looked like a cow and download there. In addition to the economics of it all, like my mom used to say, “therapy had a different stigma back then.”

And writing gave me the ability to process my thoughts.

How could I smile at my mom and say, “Yes, ma’am” when inside I was wanting to stab her in the eyes with a fork?
How could I sit in church while other folks seemed to love singing and wonder why the music was terrible and singing is for the birds unless you’re inciting a riot at the local punk club?
How could I act happy about holding hands with my girlfriend when what I really wanted to do was figure out a way to erase the line my youth pastor drew about how far is too far?
How could I talk to the guy who was discipling me about my spiritual growth when I was really lying to him about how many quiet times I’d had that week (which was, um, zero) or tell him I really didn’t know what consists of a quiet time?
How could I politely wave to the girl who cut me off in traffic when I was blaming her race for an unfair stereotype and wondering why Christians didn’t have any explicit gestures for just such occasions?

I could go on.

But at the end of it all, it was cutting through the social graces and evangelical codes and getting to the heart of the matters that started my writing. And getting to the heart of the matter seemed to me to be what Jesus was all about…getting to the heart of the matter and fixing the heart. So that’s why I started.

So why do I continue to write?

For the same reasons. Still trying to get to the heart of many matters. It helps me organize my thoughts and ask hard questions. Which is the first step to transformation.

And because sometimes, there are things that need to be said…out loud…but it’s wiser to wait until they’ve been processed and such. Transformation should be shared.

Honestly.
From the heart.

Because “social graces” and “evangelical codes” will stunt your growth and feed the status quo.
I view those as negatives.

The bottom line of why I write?

Because I still need to clear the mechanism of my brain’s weird thoughts, which will convict me of where my heart is awful, which will allow the parts of me that don’t look like the revolutionary Jesus to be cut away.

I took you a long way to get to the short answer…
…but, as best as I can discern, that’s why.

Your thoughts, patrons?

Hoots And Salutes

I was a “big brother” to a sorority when I was in college and we had meetings once a month or something, and what I always looked forward to was the end of the meetings where the girls would put index cards anonymously in a box labeled “Hoots & Salutes.” Then the president would pull them out one at a time and read them. You know, like, “Hoots” to Joe for getting 4 parking tickets this week…or “salutes” to Jim for winning the intramural swim meet. I liked that sense of community where we could laugh with/at each other as well as celebrate those things worthy of celebration. I brought that little tradition to my student ministry and they loved it.

So, today, just a bit of that for my own amusement:

HOOTS to the parents who took their five-year-old kid to a Major League Game, handed him an iPad in the first inning and let him play video games (with the noise level on high so we could all enjoy them) for five innings before you left: You didn’t take your kid to a ballgame. You took your kid to a stadium and ignored him. And that’s a vitally important difference. Next time, put your arm around him, ask him to count the players. Have him point out the bases. Ask him to name the positions. Ask him if he thought the pitches were balls or strikes. Ask him to point to the fly ball. Engage him, don’t placate him. You’ll both be glad you did. For years and years and years.

SALUTES to my newspaper delivery person: It doesn’t go unnoticed that you put my newspaper in two protective sleeves on days you think it will rain. For those of us who still enjoy the ritual of a cup of coffee and the daily miracle of newsprint to start our days, a perfectly dry newspaper during a downpour is not something I take for granted. This is why we tip big at Christmas. You rock.

HOOTS the the 16-year-old cutie who was texting while driving and running over the road-turtles and coming dangerously close to my car: Look, I know it’s a part of your life, but when you’re driving a 4,500 pound machine, we need you focused. If for no other reason that you stay a 16-year-old cutie. However, you gotta admit you’re not quite experienced enough to pull off what you’re trying to pull off. And I know your parents probably do it, too. So let’s all put the phones in the glove box or the armrest compartment and pay attention to what we’re doing. Try to remember that safety of you and others is more important than telling whoever whatever it is you thought was so important.

HOOTS to a few potential employers: When we have a great conversation on the phone and you tell me you’re going to check my blog, Facebook page and such after we hang up, please at least send me an e-mail to let me know you’re not interested. It’s just rude to say nothing…for a month and still counting. Look, I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I know that my resume has over two decades of what you’re looking for. But I’d also venture to say that over two decades of ministry and 15 years in one spot might say a little more than some tattoos and long hair…which are not at symbolizing anything you might think they are (just ask, okay?). And, yes, I get that we might not be a “fit,” which I’m okay with, but an e-mail (at least) is common courtesy, no? Same for folks who get resumes, a form e-mail saying you got it and will review it and get back to me seems appropriate. I’m not letting you off the hook for common courtesy just because you love Jesus.

SALUTES to my daughters: I’m constantly amazed by both of you, for entirely different reasons. The universe knew what it was doing when it gave me nothing but daughters and watching you both go the way you’re both supposed to be going makes me smile whenever I think about it. You’re both wonderful enigmas that make being a student of you fun while at the same time making me proud beyond words. Stuff from this weekend reminded me about that reality.

HOOTS to Dallas Area Rapid Transit: You know that raising rates and charging people for parking in your lot (after a decade of free parking) is not the way to increase ridership, right? I’m precisely the guy that wants to use public transportation, and when you charge me and my family $2 to park, $4 per person for a day-pass, well, I can get downtown and park in 3/4 the time and for half as much money taking my car. Here’s an idea with gas prices climbing: Cut prices in half and see if your ridership doubles or triples.

HOOTS to all my friends who tell me that your company leaves tickets to baseball games unused in somebody’s drawer at work: Stop doing that. Grab some and let’s go.

SALUTES to the folks who made P90X and Insanity: Thanks so much for helping me get in shape…35 pounds lost from P90X and 7 more from Insanity with one week to go. Sure, your instructors are kind of hokey, but that has been money well-spent in our family.

SALUTES to my friends and family who have been so supportive to me while I try to figure some things out. Every time I turn around, the people closest to me are encouraging me with insights and kind words at precisely the right time. Even when it seems my ability to tune-in to the Holy Spirit is at ebb-tide you people show me you care or want the best for me. Trust me when I say the process is difficult as it lies, but without you people willing to let me ask hard questions that require you to say difficult things to me (or when I ask easy questions that let you say fun things to me), well, I don’t know how I’d do it. I’m getting to a point where I’d really appreciate resolution and you guys are so helpful in making sure I get His resolution rather than any old resolution. But it’s fun dreaming with you folks, that’s for sure.

So, patrons, what HOOTS or SALUTES do you have for us?